I am so Bored I cant stand it
Have you ever seen the episode of Seinfield when George takes naps under his desk. Today is one of those days for me. I am so bored right now I wish I could crawl up into a ball under my desk and take a nap. It has been like this all week. My boss is on vacation all this week and into a part of next week. What is a girl supposed to do with herself with all of this free time. I mean I look at almost every gossip[ site there is out there but that still doesn't fill up the day all the time.
I just got a call from my mom. We are going to go out to dinner tonight for something to do. I hate going out to dinner with my whole family because that means we have to pretend that we are a normal family when deep down inside we are so sidfunctionnal. And to make matters even worse I have a 2 year old child who, in my eyes, has a ants in her pants and can never sit still for more that 1 minute. This should be fun. My sister and I took the baby to the mall the other night and we went into the card store for something and you kow how they have the little glass things al over well she just went after all of them. and as we were trying to drag her out of there she was screaming get your hands off of me. For a little girl she know what to say, when to say it, and even how to say it. She gets that crap from her father.
Speaking of which I mention how he went to the emergency room yesterday. Well today he went to the doctor and the doc told him it sounds like he is having anxiety attacks. So he gave him a prescription for Xanax. So now with the pot he can pop a Xanax and he will be feeling great.
Today the baby is at his mom's house. Now tell me if this is crazy because I think it is. So I dress her in the morning before I bring her over there and when I pick her up she is in the same outfit, but one time I got to the house to pick her up a little bit early and she was in a different outfit. So I said to his mother "oh did she have an accident" and she was like No I never leave her in what you dress her. I put the close that I buy for her on her and before you come to get her I change her so she is back in what you dropped her off in. I think this is so bizarre. She does the weirdest things. And god forbid if she does ever wear one of the mothes outfits home and I don't return it right away all hell breaks loose.
I swear to myself at night time if I could do it all over but keep my daughter I would do it in a heart beat.
Summer was here and left already
I can't believe that summer is basically over. I mean just yesterday I felt like it was May. The days go by so quick anymore. Winter will be here before you know it and Christmas is right around the corner. I mean some of the catalogs that I am getting already have Christmas stuff in it. God I don't even want to think about it. My goal before Christmas is finding a Halloween outfit for the baby. She told me the other day she wanted to be Ariel from the little mermaid. I will probably wait until the last minute to get her costume because I know she will change her mind like 10 more times.
So today the baby went into work with my mom. My mom adores her and does everything for her. I don't know what I would do without her. My dad's birthday is this week and I have idea of what to get him. He is always so hard to buy gifts for. I think most guys are hard to buy for.
So anyway the saga continues at our house. I am not going to refer to my boyfriend as the "ASS" Because that is exactly what he is. So yesterday he went to the hospital for chest pains. And when he called me to tell me I really didn't care. He though I was being cold hearted, but I didn't think I was at all. He is a heavy smoker of cigarettes and pot, he eats junk food non stop, and he drinks so much ice tea in one day. Oh yea and keep in mind with all of the smoking he is doing he only has a piece of a lung. So yesterday when he went I didn't leave work because this isn't the first time he has had this problem. I swear sometimes he does this so he doesn't have to go to work. Anyway they said they say membrane on his lung or something like that and they just told him to take Advil or something like that when the pain comes and they also told him to contact his family doctor. So this was first thing yesterday morning. So yesterday when I got home what was he doing??? Playing FUCKING play station. For someone who is sick you feel better enough to play games. And now again this morning he is pulling the same shit that he don't feel good. I asked him if called his doctor yet and he was like NO. So I cme to the decision that I just don't care. Hopefully he gets sick enough where he can move back in with his mother and I wont have to deal with him anymore. I mean I never heard a man complain so much about stupid shit. I mean when I am sick I still go on with my life. When he is sick it is like he is about to die. But I am not that lucky.
Fun Weekend
So this weekend I went down the shore with a few friends. We had so much fun. I really don't drink that much but when I do I get wasted. It was a lot of fun and it is nice to get away every once in a while. Although I noticed something weird with me. When I do drink when I wake up the next morning I feel fine but the following day I have the hang over. I think that is so weird.
Anyway last night was the VMA's. Watched the whole thing including the pre-show. I thought it was okay. A little over the top at some points. I guess the theme was water??? Almost everyone looked cute, but never fear there will always be a few who look fugly. Jessica Simpson tops my list. I thought she looked like a hot mess. What was up with the hair. It looked like she stuck her finger in a socket. And when she was presenting with Ashlee she kept on shaking her booty. I just cant stand her anymore. And what was up with Eva Longoria's hair? I didn't like it one bit. I am not really a big fan of hers although I do love desperate housewives. And what is going on with Ciara and Bow-Wow. Did anyone else see the ring on her finger? I hope they aren't engaged they are way to young for that. How about Hillary Duff. I mean she looked cute and all but she is losing to much weight and she kinda looked like a bobble head doll last night. And someone needed to give missy Elliott a brush and a clip for her hair. YIKES!!!
On to the performances....I loved Kanye West and Jamie Foxx. I just love that song. Mariah Carey was okay. It looked like she was very nervous. I read somewhere before that she thinks that she is like a size 6. Looking at girlfriend last night she didn't look like a size 6. But I though her performance was okay.
All and all I say it was way better than last year. Cant wait for next year.
God give me strength
So Last night we went to dinner at my boyfriends parents house. That woman was such a bitch to me all night. Didn't say hello or anything. Not really suprising to me though. We got there around 5ish and we isnt leave until sometime after 8pm. I wanted to gouge my eyes out. I hate when we stay there for a long time because we sit around and literally do nothing. Just look at each other. Well I am off to the shore tonight. I cant wait. I better have fun or else someone is going to get it.
Quick Update About the Mother in law from HELL
So just got a call from the mega bitch and she gave me the agenda for her birthday. Tomorrow night we are going over her house so my boyfriend can cook dinner on the grill for everyone and then on Friday we can go over and sing happy birthday and give her the presents we got for her. I though as you got older the less you wanted to celebrate your birthday. I mean she is in her late 50's come on now give me a friggin break.
I swear that almost all mother in laws were put on the earth by the devil himself to make the significant others life a living HELL. It isn't like this is just a once a year thing for her birthday this is what I deal with on a daily basis with her. Sometimes I just ask myself how in god name did I get myself into this screwed up family, and the best part is that I am not even married!!!!!
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another Day, Another Dollar
Another day on the job. God could work ever be fun? Last night I skipped the gym. I just really wasn't up for it. It was so nice out I figured I would just play with my daughter outside. The weekend is right around the corner. I am heading down the shore with some of my girl friends just to get away from it all. It is just what the doctor ordered.
Last night was nothing different than a regular night at our house. I rushed home from work to pick up my daughter and make dinner for the family. Sometimes I just take a step back and I cant believe that I am a mother and I am in a relationship that is going nowhere. I swear to myself that one day I will get enough confidence to walk out but I know I never will. I have lost all confidence/self esteem in myself it is horrible. I feel like if I walk out I will never have someone ever again but then I think what would be better being alone or just pretending to myself that everything is alright. On the outside I look like I am as strong as a rock but on the inside I am a bowl of mush. I sit here and I tell my friend's what I wish I could do. Why don't I have any confidence in myself. Where did it go? In the news around here is the young mother who was murdered by her boyfriend and she was 5 moths pregnant and I think to myself how do good girls get themselves involved with scum bag men. I swear to myself that I will never let my daughter go through the hurt that I am going through now.
Also last night I got into a big fight with my boyfriend over his mother. She is the biggest bitch I ever met in my life. So her birthday is on Friday and I told her several week ago that I was going down the shore on Saturday and my daughter was going down the shore with her other grandmother. So last night she acted like she never knew that we were going to be around on her birthday. I mean we were going to take her out to dinner tomorrow night but now she told us that she doesn't want that for her birthday. She is just such a bitch and I cant stand her. And the best part is she is all talk but will never say anything to my face. She will say everything behind my back and then when I am around not say one word. She thinks her son can do no wrong and that I am the evil one. Oh if she only knew!
Anyway I was checking out the new people today and it looks like Britney is about to POP. I love britney so much. They cant say anything to make her look bad in my eyes. I just wish she wasn't with K-Fed but since we only see him from the outside looking in we really don't know what he is really like. I just wish she never left Justin. They were so cute together.
Does anyone ever read the national enquire online. If you don't you should because Anna Nicole has her own section and she is just such a smacked ass. Everything about her just gets on my nerves. She has the nerve to talk about people when she is an ass herself. She needs to stay out of the spotlitght for a little bit in my opinion.
Anyone watch my super sweet sixteen Monday night? God those triplets were so jealous of each other. Although they weren't as bad as the bitch Sophie from last week. Was I the only one who wanted to beat the living shit out of her. If that was me and I talked to my mother like that I would have gotten the wooden spoon. I guess even with all the money in the word you still cant buy class and she is a true example of that.
I missed Laguna Beach on Monday night. I only caught the last 5 minutes and the previews for next week. By the looks of it Jessica and Jason are done. I feel so bad for her. And that Alex girl is a total whore. Who is she to ask someone else's boyfriend to the prom. TRUE WHORE!!!!!
First official Post
Let me start off by saying hello. I though I would start this blog just so I could let the world know what I go through on a daily basis. I am am 23 years old and I live right outside of Philadelphia, PA. I am a mother of a beautiful baby girl and I don't know what I would do without her in my life. We live in a nice little row home and I couldn't be happier with her. But on the other hand there is her father. He also lives with us(sigh). We have been together for almost 7 years now and we aren't married or even engaged. When people ask me if I have a boyfriend I always get tripped up because I never know what to say. How do you describe to a guy that you meet that you have a daughter and you live with her father and you share the same bed but we really aren't together. Talk about scaring someone off in a blink of an eye. Here is the case with me and her father. Like I said we have been together for 7 years now. Nothing as far as commitment has been talked about. I guess you could say he is my boyfriend but truthfully I don't really even care about him anymore. He is a piece of shit in my eyes. He sleeps on the weekends until about 1pm and when he does get up he just doesn't do a damn thing. It is what are we having for dinner or didn't you mop the floor yet. Something along that line. And you know I am at a point where I am tired of it. I want to get out there and experience my 20's. I never got a chance to do that because I had a baby. I am a very responsible parent. I never like to pawn her off onto someone just so I can go out with my friends but a little bit of a social life would be nice. It is just a constant routine, work, gym, home, and maybe if I am luck some sleep. The only communication I have with the real world besides work is when I go to the gym. I go 3 times a week to lose some weight. I have a great trainer and I just feel so much more better about myself after I have a good work out. Anyway I guess the purpose of this blog is just so I can vent about my life and I guess see if there is anyone else out there who has the same issues with men/women. I would like to think that I am not the only girl out there who cant muster up the balls to walk out of the relationship. I guess my problem is that I am not so confident about myself. Oh Well. Until next time.
